下面是划重点

　　关于人际关系，哈佛科学家得到三大结论。

　　1

　　“Scial connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills.”

　　社会关系对我们是有益的，而孤独寂寞有害健康。

　　It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely. And the sad fact is that at any given time, more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.

　　那些跟家庭成员更亲近的人，更爱与朋友、与邻居交往的人，会比那些不善交际、离群索居的人，更快乐，更健康，更长寿。孤独寂寞是有害健康的。那些“被孤立”的人，跟不孤单的人相比，往往更加不快乐，等他们人到中年时，健康状况下降更快，大脑功能下降得更快，也没那么长寿。可惜的是，长久以来，每5个美国人中就至少有1个声称自己是孤独的。

　　而且即便你身在人群中，甚至已经结婚了，你还是可能感到孤独，因此我们得到的第二大结论是：

　　2

　　It's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.

　　不是你有多少朋友，也不是你身边有没有伴侣，真正有影响的是这些关系的质量。

　　It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.

　　整天吵吵闹闹，对健康是有害的。比如成天吵架，没有爱的婚姻，对健康的影响或许比离婚还大。而关系和睦融洽，则对我们的健康有益。

　　Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s, we wanted to look back at them at midlife and to see if we could predict who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian and who wasn't. And when we gathered together everything we knew about them at age 50, it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. And good, close relationships seem to buffer us from some of the slings and arrows of getting old. Our most happily partnered men and women reported, in their 80s, that on the days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy. But the people who were in unhappy relationships, on the days when they reported more physical pain, it was magnified by more emotional pain.

　　当我们的研究对象步入80岁时，我们会回顾他们的中年生活，看我们能否预测哪些人会在八九十岁时过得快乐健康哪些人不会。我们把他们50岁时的所有信息进行汇总分析，发现决定他们将如何老去的，并不是他们中年时的胆固醇水平。而是他们对婚姻生活的满意度。那些在50岁时满意度最高的人，在80岁时也是最健康的。另外，良好和亲密的婚姻关系能减缓衰老带来的痛苦。参与者中那些最幸福的夫妻告诉我们，在他们80多岁时，哪怕身体出现各种毛病，他们依旧觉得日子很幸福。而那些婚姻不快乐的人，身体上会出现更多不适，因为坏情绪把身体的痛苦放大了。