7.You Know How to Say No (to Yourself and Others).

　　7. 懂得拒绝(自己或他人)。

　　Emotional intelligence means knowing how to exert self-control. You delay gratification, and you avoid impulsive action. Research conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Saying no is indeed a major self-control challenge for many people. “No” is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

　　情商高意味着知道如何克制自己。你喜欢先苦后甜，拒绝冲动。在三藩市的加利福尼亚大学进行了一项调查发现，如果你对说“不”觉得越困难，那么你就会经受更多的压力，崩溃甚至沮丧。说“不”对于很多人来说的确是一项自控力的挑战。“不”是一个多么强有力的词汇，每个人都不应该害怕使用。当该是时候说“不”了，情商高的人都会避免使用诸如“我不觉得我可以”或“我不确定”这样的说法。对新的承诺说不，其实能够为你建立信用并为你提供机会更成功地履行承诺。

　　8.You Let Go of Mistake

　　8. 放下错误。

　　Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success.

　　情商高的人尽可能远离错误，但不会把它们遗忘。与错误保持一个安全的距离，在需要引以为鉴的时候唾手可得，这样就能够随时应对，调整自己，成就未来。

　　9.You Give and Expect Nothing in Return

　　9. 付出且不求回报。

　　When someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, this leaves a powerful impression. For example, you might have an interesting conversation with someone about a book, and when you see them again a month later, you show up with the book in hand. Emotionally intelligent people build strong relationships because they are constantly thinking about others.

　　当有人自愿给予你一点什么，并且不要求你的回报，这样会给别人留下很深刻的印象。比如说，你可能跟某个人交流一本书籍，一个月后再次与他们会面，你就记得把书带上了。情商高的人能够与他人建立很好的人际关系，因为他们随时随地都在为他人着想。

　　10.You Don’t Hold Grudges

　　10. 不记仇。

　　The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.

　　记恨的负面情绪实际上是一种应激反应的表现。紧紧抓住仇怨意味着你紧紧抓住压力，然而情商高的人们知道如何尽自己所能避免。放下哀怨不仅让你感觉良好还会有助健康。

　　11.You Neutralize Toxic People

　　11. 中和负面情绪的人群。

　　Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground. Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.

　　很多情况下与难相处的人打交道确实会让自己身心疲惫。情商高的人能够控制自己不与负面情绪的人群接触。但当他们与这些人接触时，他们就会理性地应对。他们能够清楚自己的情绪并控制怒气避免火上浇油。他们同时也会考虑难相处的人的立场并能够找到折衷的解决方案。即使事情完全失控，高情商的人都能够对负面的人有所保留，以此防止对方让事情更糟糕。

　　12.You Don’t Seek Perfection

　　12. 舍弃对完美的追求。

　　Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you've achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.

　　高情商的人不会把完美作为自己的最终目标，因为他们很清楚完美是根本不可能的。人，因我们最原始的本质，都是会犯错的。如果你把完美计划作为自己的目标，你就会永远唠嗑着失败，就会让你想放弃或减少付出。对失败和别的做事方式进行检讨，而不是放下过去向前进，为自己所做到的事情而快乐，也不会为自己的将来有所打算，这会很多宝贵的时间。