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心理趣闻:从恋爱到决定结婚你需要多久的时间?

2018-12-17 09:32

来源:纽约邮报

作者:

  Maybe Nick and Priyanka didn’t really rush into their engagement after all.

  也许尼克和普里扬卡并不真的急着订婚。

  A new study polled married people and found that, on average, it took them just 172 days to decide that they wanted to get hitched.

  一项针对已婚人士的最新调查发现,他们平均只用172天就决定是否要结婚。

  That’s about six months — and it’s less time, the scientists found, than most people estimate they’ll need before making that big call.

  科学家们发现,他们决定结婚大约需要6个月的时间,这比大多数人预计的要短。

  Surveyed singles told the researchers that they’d need about 210 days to make up their minds about their potential suitors.

  接受调查的单身人士告诉研究人员,她们需要210天左右的时间来确定是否会答应潜在求婚者的求婚。

  “Romantic partners might incorrectly assume that deciding to tie the knot is a lengthy and deliberative decision,” Nadav Klein, a PhD student at the University of Chicago and co-author of the study, tells The Post. “Our findings suggest that people misunderstand how quickly they make judgments.”

  芝加哥大学博士生、该研究报告的合著者纳达夫.克莱因在接受《华盛顿邮报》采访时表示:“恋人可能会错误地认为决定结婚是一个漫长而慎重的决定。我们的研究结果表明,人们误解了自己做判断的速度。”

  His team’s study, which was conducted on 2,000 coupled and uncoupled people, delved deeper into how long it takes people to make decisions. Participants told researchers that it took five bad interactions before they realized they disliked someone. But the data suggests that three bad impressions is enough to decide “Thank U, Next.”

  他的团队对2000名已婚和未婚的人进行了研究,深入研究了人们做结婚决定需要多长时间。参与者告诉研究人员,他们要经历了五次糟糕的交流之后会才意识到自己不喜欢某个人。但数据显示,三个坏印象足以决定“谢谢你,下一个”。

  Joe Taravella, a psychologist and therapist, says Klein’s findings are consistent with his professional experience.

  心理学家兼治疗师乔.塔拉维拉表示,克莱的发现与他的职业经验相符。

  “After the three-month honeymoon period, people tend to let down their guards and you begin to get a true glimpse of the real person and how they deal with the good and bad and everything in between,” Taravella, who’s based in NYC, tells The Post.

  住在纽约的塔拉维拉告诉《邮报》:“在三个月的蜜月期之后,人们往往会放松警惕,你开始了解对方真实的一面,以及他们如何处理好事与坏事以及介于好坏之间的一切事情。”

  He says to trust your gut when deciding whether or not to stay in a new relationship.

  他说,在决定是否继续一段新恋情时,要相信自己的直觉。

  “People are constantly showing you who they are, so just be aware of what you see and how someone is behaving toward you and especially others,” he said.

  他说:“人们总是向你展示他们想要展示的一面,所以你要意识到自己看到的,以及对方是如何对待你,尤其是如何对待旁人的。”

  “If you see things in your partner that is not aligned or meeting your needs, it’s best to just move on in your search for true happiness.”

  “如果你发现你的伴侣不符合你的需求,最好还是继续寻找真正的幸福。”

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