2018-07-12 14:42



  Set some personal boundaries with yourself as you go along.


  This point is important, first and foremost. Once, I went on four dates in one week. I pushed myself to accept all the offers. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. I never talked to any of those gentlemen again. Not once.


  Don’t let the fear of missing out dictate your dating schedule.


  If you only go on one date a month, that’s okay! If awful dates, which your friends seem to be able to turn into funny anecdotes on a dime, seem catastrophic to you, that’s okay too. It’s all okay! Go on one date every three months if you want to. Ignore your mother when she hounds you about grandchildren.


  Call and cancel if you’ve already reached your limit.


  Don’t feel the need to go into some long, drawn-out explanation either. Just simply state that you need to reschedule, and offer an alternative date, time, and place. Is your fear of missing outnagging at you again? I’m going to pass along the best piece of advice my old therapist ever gave me. He said, “You can’t fuck up soul mates.” Write that down, and put it in your pocket.


  Be honest and direct, but remember it’s just an online dating profile.


  You can use subtle ways to tell your profile visitors you are introverted, without standing on a mountain top and screaming down a declaration for the masses. I like to drop little hints throughout my online profile about how much I value my quiet time; this roots out any suitors prowling for a party girl.


  Pay attention to what works for you, and only you.


  There’s a good chance that you’ll discover the subtle difference between the “just put yourself out there!” attitude and the kind of effort that aligns itself with your intuition and all of your wonderfully weird qualities. Try to narrow your focus. Tune out that well-intentioned advice, and keep what you want at the forefront of your mind. You could find someone to sit across from at the breakfast table while reading your own newspapers, Kindles, novels, or whatever. And proximity without talking is THE DREAM, you guys. Never forget.

  这是个好机会让你察觉到, “只要人在那就好”的态度和你将它与直觉以及所有奇特个性联系起来而付出的努力,这两者之间细微的区别。试着缩小你的关注点。别听那条空有一番好意(实则不奏效的)建议,始终优先考虑你想要的。你兴许能找到某位坐你对面,让你能安心读自己的报纸、Kindle、小说或是其他读物的相亲者。不过我说,(相亲时两人)邻近却彼此无言是白日做梦哦。千万要记住!

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