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警惕你身边的“塑料姐妹花”!13条特征你来检验一下

2018-03-13 15:37

来源:中国日报网

作者:

  在你的朋友中一定潜伏着这样一类人:Toxic friends.

  他们是你的塑料姐妹花,表面兄弟情,是你朋友圈中的真·小人。

  Toxic friends are energetically draining, hypocritical, and not worth your time. But it can sometimes be difficult to pick up on the fact they are causing damage.

  这类塑料花们十分虚伪,他们常常耗尽你的精力,不值得你花费时间相处。但事实上,我们往往难以意识到这些人的存在已经破坏了我们的生活。

  那么,这些让人精疲力竭的朋友有哪些特征呢?让我来告诉你!

  Here are 13 signs that your friendship is probably toxic and you should get out of it as soon as you can.

  以下的13个迹象表明,你很可能正面对着一段有毒的友情,必须尽快结束这段关系!

  让我们先干了这杯友谊的毒酒。

  1

  There's a whole lot of drama

  戏精本精

  One thing you can guarantee from a toxic person is drama. Chaos seems to surround them somehow, either because they're always arguing with someone, causing problems, or unbelievable things keep happening to them.

  这类人最大的特点就是:戏多。他们的生活总是一团糟。他们常常与别人发生口角,引发混乱,身陷是非。

  Psychologist and therapist Perpetua Neo said. "A toxic friend tends to be someone who sucks us in either by being very amazing, very grandiose, or by being this sad creature that needs our help."

  心理学家和心理治疗医师波佩图阿·尼奥认为:他们擅于将你卷入令人惊奇的浮夸故事中,或是他们常作为悲剧的主人公向你寻求各种帮助。

  2

  Everything is about them

  所有的事都与他们有关

  A toxic friend will never really listen to you. They will always be waiting for their turn to speak, or to turn the conversation back to them.

  这类朋友很少真正听你说话。他们总是伺机发言并将话头引向他们自己。

  "In a novel conversation between people, you can say this thing happened to me too, which is OK because that's where empathy happens, and you form a connection," Neo said. "But then with a toxic person, everything revolves around them. They'll twist it."

  “当朋友们一起谈论奇闻轶事时,你可以说自己曾遇到类似事情,因为你产生了共鸣”,尼奥说。“但是,对毒朋友而言,他们总是奇异事件的主人公,而且他们还扭曲情节。”

  3

  They put you down

  他们喜欢贬低你

  Neo said a toxic friend will never compliment you. They'll never pick you up or congratulate you on your achievements. In fact, they're much more likely to kick you when you're down.

  尼奥认为这类朋友很少称赞你。比起帮助你或是为你的成绩而高兴,他们甚至在你落难时补上一脚。

  You'll realize you're never actually happy or relaxed around them because they don't make you feel good about yourself, Neo said. No friendship should be transactional, but if someone is draining all your energy, you should ask yourself whether you're getting anything out of it at all.

  你会发现与他们在一起,你不开心、不放松,因为他们从不为你着想。尼奥认为,虽然友谊不是一种交易,但如果在一段关系中你耗尽了全部精力,那么你该偶尔想一想回报了。

  4

  They compete with you

  凡事都要比个高低

  Whether it's your job promotion, a romantic partner, or a new class you're doing, your toxic friend will compete with you.They won't like the idea of you having anything that doesn't involve them, and they especially don't want you to excel at something.

  无论是升职、恋爱对象还是你正在参加的课程,你这位朋友都想与你一较高低。他们不仅想参与你在做的任何事情,还尤其不喜欢你更擅长某一领域。

  5

  They secretly copy you

  他们偷偷地模仿你

  A toxic person will start to mimic you. They might buy the same bag you bought the week before, or start using the same slang words as you.

  这些人还开始模仿你,从你用的包到你用的流行语。

  Neo said. "It's not uncommon for toxic friends to be very jealous of you, tear you down, and to some extent try to steal your identity. In severe cases, they might pretend to be you and use your photos, like catfishing."

  尼奥认为:这些人嫉妒你,打压你,在某种程度上他们想要偷走你的身份。更有甚者编造身份,直接使用你的照片在社交网络上交友。

  6

  They cross your boundaries

  行为逾矩

  Toxic people do incredibly inappropriate things. For example, Neo said they may ring you on your house phone when you never gave them the number, or even show up uninvited.

  这些人常有不恰当的行为。例如,即使你并没有透露过住宅电话号码,他们依然能给你家里打电话,甚至还会成为你家的不速之客。

  They have no respect for your space, and make you feel like you're abandoning them if you push back.

  他们不尊重你的私人空间。当你尝试反抗时,他们还让你感觉抛弃了朋友。

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