My husband and I are currently in a long-distance relationship. We are over 17,000 kilometers away from each other. He works in Sao Paulo, Brazil, and I work in Beijing. Thanks to instant messaging apps, it’s like he merely works overtime everyday and doesn’t get home in time to give me a goodnight kiss.

　　我和我丈夫目前处于异地的状态，彼此相隔17000公里。他在巴西圣保罗工作，而我在北京。由于即时通讯软件的存在，他就好像只是每天加班不回家给我一个晚安亲吻一样。

　　However, his increasingly slow response puts me on edge. A search online yields hundreds of similarly upset minds, all asking why people delay responding to messages and how to properly handle such a situation.

　　但是他最近不秒回信息，这让我很紧张。百度之后出来几百条同样沮丧的想法，人们都在问为什么对方不秒回、以及如何妥当地处理这种情况。

　　One post struck me in particular. It showed how a girl feels when her partner doesn’t reply to her message asking, "what are you doing?"

　　有一个帖子特别打动我。女孩问对象“你在做什么?”，但是对方却没有回答，帖子记录下了女孩的心理变化过程。

　　After three minutes, the girl concludes that he may be busy. After five, she begins to wonder if she did something wrong. After 10, she panics and starts to imagine him with another girl. After 15 minutes, it starts all over again, as she tries to reassure herself that he is simply too busy. After 20 to 30 minutes, she gets angry and decides never to message him ever.

　　三分钟过后，女孩认为可能他很忙;五分钟过后，女孩开始寻思是不是自己做错了什么事;十分钟过后，女孩惊慌失措，开始想象他和另外一个女孩在一起;十五分钟过后，“轮回”又开始了，女孩尝试着说服自己他只是太忙了。20到30分钟过后，女孩生气了，决定再也不给他发信息了。

　　Almost 1,000 netizens commented on it, saying that they felt the same way.

　　差不多1000名网友发表了评论，表示说自己感觉一模一样。

　　At first, I felt relieved. There were people like me; it was an assurance that I was not the troublemaker in this case. Then page after page, I saw some whining ladies making a fuss about nothing, as my husband would say.

　　最开始，我感到如释重负。有像我一样的人;这就像是一个证据，表明我不是导致这一情况的罪魁祸首。一页又一页地看着评论，我发现一些爱抱怨的女士小题大做——正如我丈夫说的那样。

　　It looked like women complained more about being neglected by their partners. In my case, I think what drags me down is probably a lack of confidence.

　　看起来女性在被伴侣忽视之后抱怨得更多。而在这件事情中，我认为让我怀揣不安的原因可能是缺少自信。

　　Women make more money now, and according to the World Economic Forum, China has realized 67.6 percent gender equality, just shy of the world average of 68.

　　女性现在挣的钱更多了，而据世界经济论坛上的数据显示，中国的性别平等已经实现了67.6%，跟世界平均水平68%相差无几。

　　Therefore, I don’t think this phenomenon is the result of a financial problem.

　　因此我认为此现象并不是经济问题的结果。

　　Instead, Chinese women are still culturally inclined to revolve their lives around their husbands. It looks like there’s a lack of independence and pursuit of individual happiness.

　　相反从文化角度上来看，中国女性仍然倾向于围绕自己的丈夫生活。中国女性似乎缺少独立性和对个人幸福的追求。

　　A couple chooses to stay together because they want more fun, not more pain. So, if your partner does not reply to your what-are-you-doing messages, go find something else that pleases you. There is more to life than your man.

　　一对恋人选择结合在一起，是因为他们想要更多的快乐，而不是更多的痛苦。所以，如果你的另一半不回你“你在做什么”的消息的话，那就去找些其他让自己开心的事情吧。除了你的男人外，生活还有很多精彩!

（编辑：何莹莹）