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如何度过没有手机的一天?你是重度手机依赖者?
2017-02-28 14:49
来源:fmylife
作者:
Cutting off your thumbs
切掉你的大拇指
No thumbs, no smartphone. The proverb was born in an Apple store in Michigan and still holds true today. What's the point of burdening yourself with this "finger" that insists on being so unlike the others, especially when the opposable thumb is no longer useful in 2017? So don’t hesitate to ask for help in cutting off your thumbs. If this method doesn’t achieve the desired results, try cutting off all the other fingers as well. The more the merrier!
没有拇指,就没有手机。——这是一家在墨西哥的苹果手机商店的标语,这话放到现在依然成立。干嘛要留着这只和其他四指截然不同的手指呢?尤其是在2017年对生拇指已经毫无用处了。所以别犹豫了,大胆地让人帮你切了大拇指吧。如果这个方法不奏效的话,试试把所有手指都切了吧。越多越好!
Using a carrier pigeon
养一只信鸽
Now you'll have to think twice before sending a simple "OK". Just remember to leave the windows open if you’re waiting for a response. If this doesn’t work, always remember that pigeon is excellent with bacon and peas.
这样在发送一个简单的“OK”时你也不得不三思而后行。如果你在等回复的话记得把窗打开哦。如果这也不奏效得很,谨记鸽子最爱吃的的是培根和豌豆。
Communicating directly
直接交流
Few people know that the human body has a lot of proprietary applications allowing for a range of social interactions. Very practical for communicating, the "voice" can send myriad messages. A signal will be transmitted at the speed of 340m/s in direction of your interlocutor, who interprets it by consulting his inner ear. If you don’t have the voice app, you can test the manual application.
很少有人知道人体其实有很多专属应用可以用来进行广泛的社交。“声音”可以传递大量信息,这对于交流来说非常实用。你可以以340米/秒的速度向对话者传递一个信号,对方根据内耳来做出决定是否要打断你。如果你没有“声音”这个APP的话,你可以查看下你的应用手册。
Hiring a messenger
雇佣一个报信者
This method boosts employment and is especially appreciated by running fans. On the other hand, if it’s to announce a break-up, it’s much less fun for the messenger. Don't make someone else do your personal dirty work. Come on.
此法能够刺激就业,而且尤其受到跑步爱好者的欢迎。不过如果你要分手的话,这对于报信者来说就不怎么有意思了。拜托,别让人帮你做坏事啦。
Using a dumbphone
使用非智能手机——“智障手机”
As the name suggests, the international day without smartphone concerns only smartphone users, translation: those using "phones with intelligence". Therefore, the use of a “stupid phone” remains possible. Bring back the old model with a broken screen. If you have a Windows Phone, don’t change anything.
非智能手机是名副其实的智障手机,在没有智能手机的今天只有智能手机用户受到关注,也就是那些使用“有智慧的手机”的人。所以用“智障手机”也还是有可能的。把那些屏幕碎裂的旧手机带回来吧。如果你的手机系统是Windows的话,什么也别改。
Using a disposable camera
使用一次性相机
Very important for the smartphone photographer, you can take it everywhere and in a few days, your selfies are at home. It's lightweight and durable with no battery to worry about charging! On the other hand, if you make a mistake while taking your picture, you must start all over again. And if you don’t have a developing lab at home, you must pay up.
对于喜欢用智能手机拍照的人来说这很重要,你可以随身携带一次性相机,你的自拍还可以留在家里。它轻便耐用,而且不会受到没电的困扰!不过如果你在拍照的时候失误了,你就必须重头再来了。而且如果你家没有洗照片的地方的话就没办法了。
Going to Lake Desolation
去湖边荒地
No internet, no problem. Thanks to its isolation from modern civilization, Lake Desolation offers the ideal environment for both a nice day without a smartphone and burying a corpse. No Wi-Fi and only two outlets on the whole mountain to recharge your phone... It's the perfect opportunity to get your life in order or to go back to 1958.
没有网络,就没有问题。湖边荒地与世隔绝,是度过离开手机完美一天以及……埋葬尸体的绝佳地点。这里没有Wi-Fi,且整座山只有两个商店可以给手机充电。这是让你的回到1958年生活的绝佳机会。
Swiping the toilet roll
玩玩卫生纸卷筒
When you’re bored in the bathroom, you just have to swipe this roll of paper to feel at ease. The movement is the same and it’s occasionally more fun than using the smartphone. Just ask the cat.
当你在厕所闲得无聊时,你可以摩擦卫生纸的卷筒来解除烦闷。本质虽然一样,但有时候玩卷筒纸可能比玩手机更有意思。问问猫咪就知道了。
Using the traditional tin can with string
用传统的拉线易拉罐打电话
You have 20 people to call today? Campbell's is going to be very happy. Make sure you have an extra long string for your calls abroad. Beware: a line cut is always possible. Pigeons (what else) perched on the line could also pose a connectivity problem.
你今天要打20个电话?坎贝尔公司(美国最大的浓缩汤汁罐头公司)很高兴听到这个消息。打越洋电话时确保你有加长线。记住:随时可能会断线哦。鸽子(或是随便其他什么东西)在线上停留一下都会引起打电话的问题。
Cheating
作弊
Really though, what's forcing you to spend the day without a smartphone? You always have the option of tapping into this wonderful resource: free will. Ultimately, nobody will stop you in the street for excessive use of your smartphone. The police are already too busy with marches and riots to care, so it's all up to you.
说真的,是什么让你离开手机的啊?你随时都能够选择使用这个完美的资源:这取决于你自己的意愿。没有人会在大街上因为你过度沉迷于手机而阻止你。警察要忙着处理游行和暴乱,所以这一切都取决于你自己。
Good luck!
祝你好运!
(编辑:何莹莹)