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心理趣闻:告别一段恋情的正确方式
2016-08-29 10:19
来源:沪江
作者:
There are times when you'll find yourself left wondering where your relationship is going when in fact, it's been headed downhill ages ago (You were just so blinded that you didn't notice). Yes, you may not have been fortunate enough to know that the relationship has been over for him, but that doesn't mean that you'll wait for him to grow balls to call it quits to your face. Even if he doesn't, you can still get the closure you deserve in your own badass way. Here's how.
无数次地,你都想要知道你们的关系究竟卡在了哪里,然而实际上它在很久以前就已经开始走下坡路(只是你太过盲目对此视而不见)。不幸的是,你很可能都不知道这段感情对他而言早已结束,但这并不意味着你要等他当面跟你说分手。即使他不说出来,你仍旧可以通过自己的方法结束这段感情。以下是具体方法:
Take it to social media.
在社交媒体上公布
You don't necessarily have to broadcast the details of your unfortunate love story but you can post something about how your relationship is done and that your plans only revolve around enjoying your newfound life as a single lady. Since your friends and loved-ones will likely read your status, you'll be accountable and you'll be reminded of how you've ended things yourself, how there's no turning back, and how there's no getting back together, like ever.
你不用公布这段恋情的每一个细节,但你可以说说这段感情是如何结束的,以及围绕着你的单身新生活谈谈你的计划。在你的朋友和关心你的人看到你的状态后,你可以跟他们解释,并提醒自己你是如何亲手结束这一切的,没有任何回旋余地。
Write your heart out.
把你的心声写出来
Get a clean sheet of paper and write everything you have inside your tattered soul. Write until your tears fall, until you run out of words. Then fold the paper and store it somewhere you won't remember putting it. It's not going to make you feel less broken but who cares? You'd feel so much better letting out all of the pent up bitterness and anger inside of you. Or you can write an open letter to that guy you've never gotten closure with and inspire other women who are going through the same situation as yours along the way.
找一张干净的纸,将你那破碎的心里的一切都倾吐出来。 一直写,写到你泣不成声,写到再也没有词可以用来形容你的感受。然后,将这张纸折起来,并把它放在一个你永远不会想起的地方。虽然你依旧会心碎,但是没关系。将你郁积多时的痛苦和愤怒发泄出来你会感觉好多了。或者,你可以给那个人写一封公开信,并激励那些跟你遭遇相同的妹子走出悲伤。
Give in to weird rituals.
举办一些奇怪的仪式
It can be anything from finishing a half-marathon while listening to all of the songs you've used to listen together or going through all the belongings he left in your apartment, burning them, and throwing the ashes in the nearest beach where you live. Just have whatever weird, crazy, but symbolic ceremony that you think you needed so you can finally say goodbye to him and the painful memories you had in the past.
你可以听着自己以前经常听的歌曲去跑一个半程马拉松,或者将他留在你公寓的物品一一找出,然后烧掉,并把它们的“骨灰”洒在你家最近的沙滩上。尽情地办一些怪异疯狂的但是具有象征性的仪式吧,因为你需要通过它们来忘记这个人,以及过去那痛苦的回忆。
Create new memories without him.
制造一些新回忆
Go back to that coffee shop where you used to hang or that beach where you used to swim and enjoy each other's company. But this time, go there and make new memories with nobody but yourself. It may sting a bit but it will prevent you from associating things and places to him (and you'll end up reclaiming your freedom in the process).
回到你过去经常逗留的咖啡厅或者过去经常和他一起相伴游泳嬉戏的海滩,但是这次,尝试着制造一些只属于自己的回忆。这个过程或许会让你感到些许心痛,但却可以防止你将过去的一切和他联系起来。(经过这个步骤之后,你会感到重获自由)
Focus on getting yourself back together.
努力做回真实的自己
A man may have broke you but you can be whole on your own. Of course, you'd want a boyfriend again soon but that doesn't mean that you'd settle for less. Take your time so when you're ready for your forever relationship, it will finally be worth it.
这个人可能伤了你的心,但你仍可以靠自己独立。当然,你可能想着尽快再找一个男友,但这并不意味着你的择友标准就要降低。慢慢来,当你准备好开始一段长期恋情了,会发现这是值得的。
Forgive yourself.
自我原谅
If you're someone who's absurdly harder to no one but yourself, this is going to be a tough challenge. But with time, your eyes will be opened and when you finally see and realize your worth, you'd be totally okay. That's even if the guy you once loved failed to see it.
如果你是那种对自己要求出奇地严格的人,这将是一个困难的挑战。但随着时间流逝,你终将会看开,当你最终发掘到自己的价值时,整个人会明朗很多。而这是那个你曾经爱过的人所不曾察觉的。
Contact him.
联系曾经那个他
The chances may be really slim but be sure to exhaust all ways of telling him goodbye (phone, email, social media accounts). Tell him you're done and you're never waiting for him, ever. Don't wait for his reply but rather remove him totally from your life by blocking him and changing your phone number.
但是你要利用各种方式跟他说拜拜,无论是电话,邮件还是社交媒体。告诉他你已经放下了他并且再也不会等他回心转意。不要等待他的回复,相反,你还要将他屏蔽或者更换手机号,以此将他从你的生活中彻底抹去。
(编辑:何莹莹)