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恋爱达人支招:如何忘记前任
2015-06-30 11:43
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1. Take Her Off That Pedestal
消除她的地位
First things: Stop acting like your ex was God’s gift to men. She wasn’t perfect. If we’re being honest, she probably wasn’t even close. Make a list of her annoying traits. Let your buddies bad-mouth her. Do whatever you have to do -- just take her off that pedestal.
第一件事情就是:别再把你的前任当做是上帝赐给你的礼物了。她并不是完美的。老实说,她甚至还差得远呢。列一个她的缺点清单。让你的兄弟们说她的坏话。做一些你必须做的事——把她从你的心里抹去。
2. Get Closure
跟她绝交
Step two for getting over your ex: get closure. If you’re going to break up with her, don’t put it off. Make sure you’re both on the same page. This is a breakup, not a “break.” The two of you are moving on, which means potentially seeing other people. If you feel the need to do a relationship postmortem, do it now. You won’t be seeing her again for a while.
忘掉前任的第二步:跟她绝交。如果你想要跟她分手,那就别磨磨叽叽。要确保你的想法是一致的。这就是分手,而不是“暂时分开”。你们两个人都会向前看,这就意味着你们会跟别的人在一起。如果你觉得你应该做一个恋爱检讨,现在就做。暂时别再见她了。
3. Don't Contact Her
别联系她
This may be the most important of our 9 tips for getting over your ex. After you’ve gotten closer, don’t contact her. Go cold turkey. Seriously. Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to “always be there for each other,” but forget it. By staying in touch with old flames, you’re asking for months of on-again-off-again uncertainty.
这也许是我们这9个忘掉前任的点子中最重要的一个了。虽然曾经彼此那么亲近,但千万别再联系她了。把这个坏习惯赶紧戒掉。真心的。也许你会说些继续做朋友的废话狡辩,也可能会发一些傻瓜似得誓言说“永远陪在彼此身边,”但是忘了这些东西吧。跟旧情人保持联系,你就是在不确定里几个月都这样藕断丝连。
So, throw out her phone number, stop texting her and unfriend her on Facebook. Imagine how freaked out you'll be the first time you see some strange dude in her profile picture, and you'll see why a clean break is essential.
所以说,删掉她的联系方式,别发短信给她,脸书上也别加她为好友了。想象一下,当你第一次看到陌生的纨绔子弟出现在她的相册里的时候,你会有多么惊讶,到那时,你就知道为什么干净地分手有多么重要了。
4. Work Out
忘记
Without a girlfriend gobbling up hours out of every day, you may be wondering what to do with yourself. Now that you’re single, we suggest hitting the gym or taking a jog. It’s a healthy way to work out all of that post-breakup frustration. Getting in shape is also a good way to boost your self-esteem. And don’t forget: The gym is a great place to meet women.
每天没有女朋友占用你的大把时间了,你可能会想想自己要做些什么呢。现在你是单身了,我们建议去健身房或者去慢跑一下。这是种很健康的方式,能让你忘怀所有关于分手之后的沮丧感。锻炼身体也是个很好的方式来加强你的自尊心。并且别忘了:运动场是个很棒的地方,那里可以遇到美女哦。
5.Don't Try Getting Your Stuff Back
别再试着把你的东西拿回来
By the same token, you don’t want to try to get your stuff back. You can’t have a relationship relapse if you don’t allow yourself to see your ex. Forget about all that stuff you left at her place. Consider it gone. The $50 you’re going to have to spend to replace a few DVDs is a small price to pay to avoid an ex-girlfriend who could be either desperately needy or irrationally angry.
同样地,你别想着要去把你的东西拿回来了。如果你不让自己见你的前任的话,你就不能把你的东西都拿回来。忘记所有你留在她那里的东西。想着那些都丢了。你花50块去重新买一些DVD就当是拿来支付避免再次见到那个穷困潦倒又无理取闹的前任的。
6. Hang Out With Your Friends
跟朋友出去玩玩
One of the things many guys have to sacrifice when in a committed relationship was spending a lot of time with friends. Relationships are notorious time-bandits, as being with the person you're closest to tends to take priority over catching up with your buddies. But now that you’re single, you can reconnect with everyone you left behind. Not only will it be fun, but it will also be therapeutic.
你们谈恋爱的时候牺牲的东西之一就是花时间跟兄弟们在一起。谈恋爱简直太花时间了,特别是你永远都要把你的女朋友放在优先于兄弟的位置。但是现在你单身了,你可以再次跟所有你错过的兄弟联系了。这不仅会很有趣,而且还会是个很好的治疗方法。
7. Remember The Bad Times
记住那些艰难的时期
It’s pretty common for guys to idealize their significant others after a breakup. You’ll just be going about your business, and then, suddenly, you’ll remember an inside joke or a great date. Then you’ll grin, thinking about a cute personality quirk she had, and before long, you’re fantasizing about how great your life used to be.
分手之后,你们会把你们的爱人理想化的这种现象很普遍。你只要继续做你的事情,然后,突然,你就会记起一个玩笑或者是一个重要的日子。然后你就会笑一下,想着她曾经的那种可爱,但是不久以后,你就会幻想你跟你前任曾经的生活会有多美。
8.Snap out of it
振作起来
One of the most important of our tips for getting over your ex is to remember the bad times. Focus on the fights and the problems. Recollect her bad habits and the little things about the relationship that frustrated you. It’s like taking a cold shower -- you can stop yourself from mythologizing the relationship if you keep it in perspective.
别再幻想了。我们忘记前任的建议中最重要的一条就是要记住那些艰难的时候。集中在那些吵架跟出现问题的时候。回忆她的坏习惯以及那些恋爱中让你难过的小事。这就像洗了次冷水澡——可以让你从你幻想中的恋爱神话里立马清醒。
8. Exercise Your Newfound Freedoms
开发你新的自由
Relationships are about compromise. Being single should be about doing whatever the hell you want. Look, you’re free to do whatever you want (within the bounds of the law, of course). So stay out until four in the morning, hop on a plane to Vegas with your brother, or just sit on your ass and watch basketball all day. Taking pleasure in all of those things that you refrained from doing as a boyfriend can be a great way to get over your ex.
恋爱就是妥协。单身的你应该做一些你自己想做的事情。看,你现在自由了,可以做任何你想做的事情(当然,要在法律允许的范围之内)。所以,呆到凌晨四点才回家,跟你的兄弟们飞往维加斯,或者整天都只是坐着看场球赛。从这些事情里面寻找快乐,能让你克制住去做一个男朋友的想法从而让你忘记你的前任。
9. Hook Up With Someone Else
去开始一段新的恋情
One thing that a lot of guys do to get over exes is get someone else into the picture.
很多人会做的一件摆脱前任的事情就是跟另一个人在一起 。
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