Seek their opinion

　　征求他们的意见

　　This tip has been tested by perhaps our most tactful founding father, Benjamin Franklin. In his memoir, Franklin describes an “old maxim” that helped him along in his political career: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.” In other words, if you ask someone for advice or a favor and they oblige you, they will be psychologically primed to like you and help you again (today this phenomenon is known as The Ben Franklin effect). So, if you truly want to endear yourself to a stranger and show them you value their mind, ask for their advice on something. If they give it to you, they get to feel important and valued—and you might just learn something in the process. Steal these other 16 secrets of naturally charming people.

　　这条建议或许已经被我们最圆滑的开国元勋本杰明·富兰克林(benjamin franklin)验证过。在他的回忆录中，富兰克林描述了一句“古老的格言”，这句格言帮助了他在政治生涯中的发展：“曾经为你做过一件好事的人，会比你自己感激的人更愿意为你做另一件事。”换言之，如果你向别人寻求建议或帮助，他们会感激你，他们将在心理上准备好喜欢你并再次帮助你(今天这种现象被称为本富兰克林效应)。所以，如果你真的想让一个陌生人喜欢你，让他们知道你重视他们的思想，那就去征求他们的意见吧。如果他们给了你，他们会觉得自己很重要，很有价值，你可能会在这个过程中学到一些东西。偷走这16个自然迷人的人的秘密。

　　Pass the topic to someone else

　　把话题传给别人

　　Not everyone is going to be fascinated by that documentary you’re obsessed with. If the conversation has been “flowing” for 20 minutes because you can’t stop talking, it’s not really flowing at all. “When [people] dominate the conversation, they are talking at someone, not with someone,” small talk expert Bernardo Carducci, PhD, tells HuffPost. Avoid falling into that trap by making a point of letting other people contribute to the conversation, he recommends. If they change the topic when given the chance, let it go.

　　不是每个人都会被你所着迷的纪录片所吸引。如果因为你无法停止交谈，谈话已经“流畅”了20分钟，那就完全不是流畅的。“当(人们)主导谈话时，他们是在和某人说话，而不是和某人说话，”闲聊专家BernardoCarducci博士告诉《赫芬顿邮报》。他建议，通过让其他人参与谈话来避免落入这个陷阱。如果他们有机会改变话题，就放手吧。

　　Repetition is key

　　重复是关键

　　Yes, it’s possible to switch topics without letting the other person know how bored you are. Start by repeating the last thing the person said to sum up their point, suggests Anna Sale, creator of the podcast Death, Sex & Money. “That’s very effective because you’re saying, ‘I’ve been listening to you. I hear what you’ve been trying to tell me. Now let’s move on to something else,’” she tells Real Simple. When you do shift away, the other person will still feel like they got their point across.

　　是的，可以在不让对方知道你有多无聊的情况下切换话题。播客《死亡、性与金钱》的创作者安娜·赛尔建议，首先，重复这个人说的最后一句话来总结他们的观点。“这很有效，因为你在说，‘我一直在听你说。我听到你一直想告诉我的话。“现在让我们换个话题，”她简单地说。当你真的离开时，对方仍然会觉得他们明白了自己的观点。

　　Exit gracefully

　　优雅地结束

　　When your conversation reaches a natural conclusion, pull the trigger by saying “I won’t keep you” or “Give my regards to [mutual acquaintance]” before making your escape. Adam Dachis, a coauthor of The Awkward Human Survival Guide, adds that context can provide you the perfect exit strategy. “If you’re at a party, excuse yourself to get a drink; if you’re at work, you can leave to get some coffee. You can also say, ‘It’s nice talking to you, but I have to talk to someone before they leave.’” Learn 11 more small talk tips that will make you less awkward.

　　当你的谈话自然结束时，扣动扳机说“我不会留下你”或“向[共同认识的人]问好”，然后再逃跑。《笨拙的人类生存指南》的合著者亚当·达奇补充说，环境可以为你提供完美的退出策略。“如果你在聚会上，请原谅自己去喝一杯;如果你在工作，你可以离开去喝咖啡。你也可以说，‘很高兴和你交谈，但我必须在某人离开之前和他交谈。’“再多学11个小贴士，这会让你不那么尴尬。