"I worked as a bartender/waitress at a bar inside an upscale health-food grocery store (it's a real thing, I promise). Most of our clientele was well-off retirees and 30-something recently divorced men hoping to get a date with someone coming in after a yoga class. Generally a nice group of customers, but definitely rich, uptight people. Forgetting to bring salt to some might be a huge offense, but automatically bringing it causes others to give you a lecture about sodium intake. It was a difficult balancing act.

　　“我曾在一家高档健康食品杂货店里面担任酒吧的酒保兼服务生(真的是健康食品，我保证)。我们的大多数客户是富裕的退休人员和30岁刚离婚并希望与一个刚上完瑜伽课的女人约会的男人。基本上都是些很友善的顾客，不过都真的有钱，而且要求比较高。忘记给他们送上盐可能会引起他们的强烈反感，但拿了盐的话他们又会给你上一门有关钠摄入量的课。这个动作的轻重真的很难拿捏。”

　　"It was St. Patrick's Day. There was also a March Madness game with the local university team playing and we were short-staffed. Needless to say, it was an insane evening with me rushing around serving corned beef and cabbage, pouring Guinness, and making sure no one was becoming belligerent.

　　“那天是圣帕特里克节，当时正在进行“疯狂三月”的比赛，当地大学的校队有参加，我们人手不够。不用说，这是一个疯狂的夜晚，我不断奔波着为客户提供腌牛肉和卷心菜，以及吉尼斯黑啤酒，并确保没有人要斗殴。”

　　"For some reason, the bar supervisor always liked to have food specials on display for people to see. While I get the concept, it generally just caused us to get mean looks when we told people they probably shouldn't eat it, as it wasn't a sample and had been sitting out for hours. Since it was St. Patrick's Day, we had a giant display of the corned beef and cabbage dinner special, complete with gravy, potatoes, and Irish beer bread.

　　“由于某些原因，酒吧主管总是喜欢把特荐美食陈列出来给人看。虽然我懂这是为什么，但这对于我们(服务人员)来说真的很麻烦，总是让我们糟人冷眼，因为我们必须告诉顾客这些不是试吃品，而且它们已经被放在这里几小时了。由于当时是圣帕特里克节，我们摆出了大量的腌牛肉配卷心菜特餐，并且还配有肉汁、土豆和爱尔兰啤酒面包。

　　"As the night was beginning to slow down, I had an older couple sit at the only open seats -- adjacent to our food displays. I was clearing tables and leaned over to let them know I'd be right with them, and a plate slid off the mountain of dishes I was carrying, plopping right into the food display. The 12-hour-old gravy and potatoes somehow still had some fluidity to them, and flew up, then dropped… right into the man's lap.

　　“随着当晚的高峰期开始结束，我让一对老夫妇坐在仅剩的空位上----与我们摆出的食物相邻。当时我正在清理桌子，但身体也向们倾斜好让他们知道我马上会去他们那里，就在这时，手里堆在最上面的一个盘子滑落了，正好砸向了陈列出的食物。那保存了十二小时的肉汁和马铃薯不知怎么居然还没凝固，溅了起来，而后又掉落，不偏不倚落到了男人的膝盖上。

　　"I was horrified and apologizing profusely while trying to set down the mountain of dishes. The man looked up and me and said, 'I just have one thing to tell you.' He slowly leaned in -- at which point I was thinking he was about to spit in my face -- and he said, 'I don't have to fart anymore, you scared it out of me.'

　　“我顿时感到了惊骇，一边放下手里堆积如山的盘子一边不停地道歉。那个男人抬头看了我说道，‘我只想告诉你一件事。’他慢慢将身体倾斜------当我以为他要向我脸上吐唾沫时------然后他说，‘我终于不用再放屁了，你已经把它吓出来了。”

　　"It was the laugh I needed that night, and he wouldn't even let me give him a free beer as an apology." -- Belinda Farragut

　　“于是我开怀大笑了起来，而这正是我当晚需要的，他甚至不要我给他免费的啤酒作为道歉。”------Belinda Farragut

（编辑：何莹莹）