No matter how much we try to work with others and get along, the time comes when we can't agree.

　　无论我们多么努力想与他人友好共事，总会遇到无法达成一致的时候。

　　It might be with a co-worker, a customer, or a boss. You don't want to get into an argument. You don't want to appear disagreeable.

　　也许对方是同事，是客户，或者是老板。你不希望演变成一场纷争，也不想与他人针锋相对。

　　Yet, you can't just go along. Difficult times call for difficult conversations.

　　但是，你也不能随波逐流。敏感时期总是难以心平气和地对话。

　　Here are seven ways to help you look reasonable, interested and supportive, even as you disagree.

　　下面为你提供7个方法，即使你不同意他人的观点，也能帮助显示你是一位靠谱的，留心和支持的员工。

　　1. Find common ground

　　1. 找到共识

　　You may disagree on a point, but likely there are many things you do agree on. Perhaps you recognize the purpose or goal is valid, while you believe the steps to get there should be different. Take time to look for places you can agree.

　　你可能在一个点子上不同意，但是你也很可能在许多个点子上表示同意。也许你认为这个目标是有效，虽然你认为达成这个目标要采取不一样的步骤。那么你就花点时间找到你能同意的地方吧。

　　2. Support and praise

　　2. 支持和赞许

　　Start with supporting and praising those areas that you find in common. You might complement a co-worker on being a hard worker or on taking time to consider this problem. You might express appreciation to your boss for taking time to listen and for his clear expectations.

　　开始的时候先对你同意的地方表示支持和赞赏。比如称赞一位同事的辛勤工作或者是他能够花时间考虑这个问题。或者表达你对老板的感谢，感谢他能够花时间倾听以及表达他的期待。

　　There are always things that are good about others. Praising them first deflects the impression you are attacking them when you disagree. These steps will help with employee retention.

　　你总能在他人身上发现优点的，所以在你表达不一致的观点前首先称赞对方，你就可以缓和攻击对方时的不良印象。这些步骤对于挽留员工很有效。

　　3. Ask questions

　　3. 提出疑问

　　When you see flaws in a plan, rather than just disagreeing, start by asking questions. You might say any of the following:

　　如果你发现计划里有纰漏，与其挑剔毛病，不如先提问题。你可以提出下面这些问题：

　　“I’m not quite seeing how this will work out. What about [share concern]?”

　　“我无法看出这个计划的实现过程，您认为(表达关注)怎么样?”

　　“Have you considered … ?”

　　“您是否考虑过……?”

　　“How do you think XX will respond to this direction?”

　　“你认为XX会对这个方向作出什么反馈?”

　　Asking careful, thoughtful questions opens up the opportunity to find common ground. You may learn things that change your perspective. The person you disagree with has time to consider possible obstacles and change his or her viewpoint.

　　提出一些关注性的，贴切的问题可以为双方提供找到共识的机会。你也可能会从中获得新的领悟。而你所不同意的对方也有足够的时间考虑潜在的障碍并以此改变自己的观点。

　　4. Look and act pleasant

　　4. 坐言起行，和颜悦色

　　Little of our communication is conveyed through the words we speak. Most comes from tone of voice, inflection, body language, facial expressions, etc. While your words may sound professional, your inflection and body language may say something else.

　　人们之间的交流几乎很少通过我们所说的话来传递，但是大多数是通过我们的语气，语调变化，肢体语言，脸部表情来传达。虽然你所说的话听起来很专业，但是你的语调变化和肢体语言又可能是另一回事。

　　The tone of voice and body language always influence more than the words alone. Make sure you don't sound disagreeable. Cultivate a cooperative, interested, concerned tone of voice.

　　语气和肢体语言所产生的影响远远比只是话语大。所以你要确保自己的语气听起来不是令人生厌的。练习用一种融入的，感兴趣的，关注的语气来表达你的观点。

　　5. Reframe the situation

　　5. 重构情境

　　While you may not agree on method or action, you will agree on something larger. If possible frame the situation as both of you working to solve a common problem. When you are both on the same side, it's easier to work things out. You might say, "Hey, John, both of us want to move this project forward. How can we work this out in the best way?"

　　虽然你可能不同意对方处理问题的方法或行动，但是你可能在更大范畴内表示同意。如果可以，构建一个你们双方都满意的处理共同问题的方法情境。只有当你们在同一阵线，才能事半功倍。你可以这么说，“嘿，John，我们都想这个计划顺利进行，那么我们怎么做才能一起把它解决了呢?”

　　6. Recognize critical emotions

　　6. 不可忽视的情感因素

　　We think we make decisions by reason, but often they have emotional components. Our pride might be at stake. Our desire to win or be right might be stronger than reason. Recognize these emotional components even as you share the reasons behind your point of view. Find a way for the other person to save face.

　　我们都认为我们可以理性地作出决定，但是通常这些决定都是带有情感因素的。我们的自尊心也会押在上面。我们想要赢或证明自己的欲望可能比理性的力量还要大。所以要觉察这些情感的因素，即使在你分享个人观点背后的理由的时候。寻找一个可以挽留对方面子的方式来表达。

　　7. Agree to disagree

　　7. 和而不同

　　At times, you may not be able to resolve the problem. You cannot find middle ground. No one is willing to change. This may be the time to step back and simply agree to disagree. You can show respect for the other person and their idea, even as you show respect for your value and plan.

　　有些时候，你可能无法解决这个问题。你找不到中庸的地方，也没有人愿意尝试。那么这时候就需要退后一步，只去同意不同的观点了。你可以对他人及其观点表示尊重，甚至在你对自己的价值和计划的时候。

（编辑：何莹莹）