Before my wife and I settled in Austin, TX last year, we lived in 12 apartments in nine cities over the last 10 years. And while the digital nature of my work means that much of my network is only a mouse-click away, it was definitely challenging to move to new cities like Minneapolis and Austin without knowing many people in person.

　　我和妻子去年决定在德克萨斯州的奥斯丁定居，在此之前，我们在9个不同的城市的12套公寓居住了长达10年的时间。虽然我的工作是与电子密切相关的，日常工作就是点点鼠标，但是对于我们来说，移居至一个像明尼阿波里斯市和奥斯丁这样没有任何熟人的新城市，真的是一个非常大的挑战。

　　The internet is great, but there's really something to be said for having face-to-face connections with people who can help motivate and inspire you.

　　没错，网络的功能很强大，但是如果能够与那些激励和鼓舞你的人建立起面对面交流的关系确实意义非凡。

　　If your own network is looking a bit lackluster, never fear. The start of a new year is the perfect time to invest in building your tribe. Here are a few of the techniques that've helped me meet friends, business partners, influencers, mentors and more.

　　如果你的人际关系淡如水，请不要担忧。新年伊始，是你建立个人关系网的绝好时机。下面给大家分享几个小技巧，它们曾经指引着我去与新朋友，商业伙伴，有影响力的人，导师等建立良好的关系。

　　1. Never Eat Alone

　　1. 绝不独自吃饭

　　I was in San Francisco back when Keith Ferrazzi's Never Eat Alone book came out, and I took its message to heart, arranging to eat meals with anyone who'd agree to meet me. Doing so had a huge impact on my career. Not only did I meet a ton of new connections, I also got over any lingering fears I had about making conversation with people I didn't know.

　　当时我还在三藩市，Keith Ferrazzi的新书《绝不单独吃饭》刚好出版了，我把其中的一些有用信息记在心上，然后安排了跟那些愿意与我见面的朋友一起吃饭。随后这个举措对我的职业生涯带来了巨大的影响。我不仅确确实实地与许多新朋友见了面，我也克服了与陌生人交谈的恐惧。

　　2. Practice Good Networking

　　2. 锻炼良好的社交技能

　　As far as specific networking tactics go, there's not much more I can tell you than to go out there, meet people and build relationships. It really is about being all action, not all talk.

　　鉴于具体的社交技巧有许多，与其告诉你怎么做不如你亲自走出去，多见见朋友建立关系。这真的就是实际行动了，而不是纸上谈兵。

　　However, I do see people making a lot of different mistakes in the actual execution of their networking - and that's what I want to touch on here. Here's an example: you get up the courage to go to a local networking event and actually talk to a few people. You have some great conversations, but after the event is over, you do nothing. Guess what kind of relationship is going to come from that encounter?

　　然而，我确实也发现人们在实际的人际交往中出现各种各样的错误，这也是我在这里想要谈到的内容。举个例子：你鼓起勇气参加本地的一次社交活动，也跟一些人交谈了。你确实跟别人聊得很愉快，但是活动结束后，你什么也没有做成。想一想，你这种打交道的方式建立了什么样的关系?

　　You got it - nothing.

　　你得到——什么也没有。

　　Practicing good networking, to me, involves the following things:

　　对于我本人来说，锻炼良好的社交技能需要考虑到以下这些因素：

　　Being consistent.

　　从一而终。

　　In my example above, a lack of consistency was the critical failure. One contact does not a network make. Nobody will get to know you and trust you if you only meet once. Be consistent both in your networking and in your follow-up. Even simple touches, such as forwarding an interesting email or sharing a social post, can build a relationship.

　　就我上面提到的例子，缺乏从一而终的毅力是致命的失误。一次的见面联系是无法建立关系的。没有人会在只一次见面后就了解和信任你。所以在建立人际关系时以及后续见面时都要保持从一而终的态度。即使是简单的小联系，比如转发一封有趣的邮件或分享一篇社交帖子，都能建立人脉。

　　Making sure you're connecting with the right people.

　　确保与对的人建立关系。

　　There's a place for broad networking, but you also need to invest in approaching people who can help you (now or in the future). That doesn't just mean potential clients, though. Connecting with prospective customers, for example, could give you valuable insight when you're planning your next product or service.

　　建立宽阔的人际关系网的地方很容易能找到，但是你也需要为与能够帮助你的人们(现在或将来)接触而花点钱。不过这不仅仅意味着跟潜在的顾客打交道。比如，与预期的客户联系，就能在你计划下一件产品或服务的时候提供有价值的想法。

　　Having a good infrastructure in place.

　　良好的基础设施必须做到位。

　　If somebody asks you for your card, do you have one to give? And even if you do, what does the website they'll land on when they're web-stalking you later look like? Part of building your network from scratch means looking like someone people want to know.

　　如果有人询问你要卡片，你能给出来吗?而即使你真的有，你所提供给对方后续了解的网站设施又是怎么样的?在从零开始的人际关系建立过程中，在某种程度上意味着你要表现得一个让别人感兴趣的人。

　　If all else fails, follow the advice of Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and chairman of Business Network International (BNI): "Be visible. Networking is a contact sport! You have to get out and connect with people."

　　如果以上这些方法都不管用，那么可以参考世界商讯机构的创始人兼主席伊万·米斯纳教授的建议：“要有存在感。建立人际关系网是一项联系的运动!你必须走出去跟他们建立联系。”

　　3. Stop Being a Selfish Networker

　　3. 别再以自我为中心

　　Finally, when you're building a new network from the ground up, you can't approach networking with a "What's in it for me?" attitude. This is true for most networking, but it goes double for situations where people don't know you and are naturally inclined to be suspicious.

　　最后，当你从头开始建立新的人际关系网了，但你不能以一种“对我有什么好处?”的态度去建立关系。这对于大多数的社交活动来说是非常重要的，但是当你周遭都是陌生人并自然而然会对你保持怀疑态度的时候，这个想法就会加倍强烈了。

　　And I get it - you're not networking for fun. You're meeting new people with the hopes of getting something from them, whether it's referrals, leads, sales or even just mentorship and guidance. But when you network from this selfish place, you make it impossible for genuine connections to form. Nobody wants to hang out with the guy who's constantly self-promoting without giving anything in return!

　　其实我明白——你不是为了乐趣而去社交。你只是想从他们身上获得点什么才去跟他们见面，无论是推荐，领导，销售或者只是随从学习和指导。但当你从这个自私的角度出发去跟他人打交道，你无法建立起真正的人际关系。没有人想要跟自私自利又不懂回报的人一起玩!

　　Communication expert Amy Castro explains this well:

　　社交专家艾米·卡斯特罗对此种情况有独到的见解：

　　"I don't like feeling like I'm being 'sold to,' nor have I ever liked, probably to my detriment, 'selling myself.' Rather, I feel if people get to know me, know what I'm passionate about, and what I have to offer my friends, colleagues, and customers, they'll let me know if they want to associate with me."

　　“我不喜欢那种 ‘被推销’出去的感觉，也不曾喜欢或许对我不利的‘自我推销’的感觉。相反，如果人们想认识我，知道我的喜好，了解我所能够为朋友，同事和客户所付出的东西，我就会知道他们是真的想要跟我建立联系。”

（编辑：何莹莹）