Do you like traveling alone or traveling with a group of people?

　　学生情况：初三，公立学校学生，长远计划去美国读书。

　　I like travel alone. There are two reasons.

　　First, you can control your travel. That is mean can choose the way that you like, but when you travel with other people, you must consider other people, so you can't enjoy your travel. For example, you want to go to the Summer Place, but most people want to go to th Great Wall, so you can't choose your way.

　　Second, if you travel alone, you will very relaxed. For example, when you buy ticket, you just need buy one ticket, if you travel alone, but if you travel with a group of people, you may consider may things. For instance, you will think about how to make ticket much cheaper and which places is most people like. It wil make everyone tired.

　　点评：这是学生的第二篇作品，学生的作品基本没有经过训练，是比较原始的自我组织起来的结构，可以看到拥有比较完整的开头段和包含了两个分论点的主题段，但结尾段的缺失使得全文结构需要全方位的结构重组。显而易见的是字数不够的问题，还包括所书写的句式结构都非常简单，在一起学习了开头段和主题段的结构之后，重新写了自己的作品，最后根据给出的范文再次加深对结构的学习。

　　学生重写的作品：

　　Today, work pressure is so heavy that more and more people get mind sick so everyone wants to relax himself. They find many different ways to relax and discover one of the best way that called travel. Some people travel alone, others travel with a group of people. I think the best way is travel alone and there are two reasons.

　　First, you can control your travel. It means you can choose things that you want such as spot, food, hotel, but when you travel with others, you must consider others. For example, you want to eat Chinese food but most people want to eat Western food, so you have to eat Western food. You want to go to the Summer Place, but most people want to go to the Great Wall, so you can't choose your way. It a big disadvantage that traveling with others worse than traveling alone. Traveling alone can make you feel freedom.

　　Second, if you travel alone, you will fee relax. Because when you travel with others, you must obey the orders. For example, alough you feel tired, you have to get up one time, but if you travel alone, you can get up at any time that you want. You will feel relaxed. It is good for your healthy, too.

　　给出的范文：

　　In our modern society, an increasing number of people prefer to travel as their way to relax themselves. Whether we travel alone or we travel with a group has been a hot issue. Enjoying being free and relaxed, I definitely am in favor of traveling alone.

　　First of all, traveling alone means freedom. For me, planning where to go is of vital importance. For example, if I travel in Beijing, the Forbidden City is the unique one that I desire to visit. Time permitted, I would rather have a good time in the Forbidden City twice than visit some other attractions in Beijing. Only if I have the chance to travel by myself, can I make the final decision about which place or places of interests that I will visit.

　　Second of all, traveling alone brings me relaxation. If I travel with a group, I then have to consider other people's needs, including the price of the entry tickets and the taste for food. Once, I went to Hongkong with my colleagues. During the trip, they only choose to go to some place with cheaper fee. Besides, it was the food of western style that they wanted to eat. Traveling with them simply made me feel tired I wished I had traveled alone with what I wanted for relaxation.

　　Traveling alone gives me nothing but freedom and relaxation, as a result of which, traveling alone will always be my only choice ever.

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（编辑：何莹莹）