Hello, fellow entrepreneurs! Before we begin, I want to take an audience poll. Who here likes money? Raise your hand if you love money! Now, who here hates working for money? And who here wants to know how you can be filthy rich in just a few short months?

　　嗨，亲爱的企业家们!在我们开始之前，我想先给你们做个测验，在场的各位谁喜欢钱?喜欢钱的请举手!那好，在场的各位谁讨厌为了钱而工作?谁想知道如何在短短几个月内就腰缠万贯?

　　With the six easy steps in my patented program, Millionaire Magic in Months, you can make—you guessed it—a million dollars in—you guessed it—months!

　　遵循我独创的计划——《几个月成为百万富翁的魔法》——中的简单6步，你就能赚到——你猜对了——100万美元——你猜对了——在几个月之内!

　　First, start working a shift or two each week at Jo’s Café. It’s easy and the pay is great. Let’s do the math. Ten dollars an hour times five hours a day times two days a week times four weeks a month for three whole months. Are you kidding me? That’s gotta be like ten grand right there. Cash. But my plan doesn’t end there—it’s time to move to step two.

　　首先，你要开始在Jo’s Café餐厅每周干一天或两天，这很容易而且薪酬不菲。咱们做道数学题，一小时10美元乘以一天5小时乘以一周两天乘以一个月4周再乘以3个月。开玩笑吧?已经1万美元了。钱到手了，但我的计划并未到此结束——可以开始第二步了。

　　Step two, you ask? Simple. Take on more shifts at Jo’s. It never fails. More Jo’s shifts, more money in your pocket.

　　你想知道第二步?简单。在Jo’s Café餐厅多上几天班。你永远不会失望，上班越多，口袋里的钱就越多。

　　Step three: every other week, when your paycheck comes, cash it out and go straight to the racetrack. You pick a horse—any horse at all—and bet all of your money on it. All of it. If your horse wins, you’re a millionaire overnight, baby. But if you’re like me and you have terrible luck at the tracks, still no problem. Just head to the bar and drown your sorrows in booze.

　　第三步：每隔一周，薪水支票发到手就去提现，然后直接去赛马场，挑一匹马——什么马都可以——把所有钱都押到上面，所有钱都押上。如果你选的马赢了，就一夜暴富了，朋友。但如果你像我一样在赛马场上运气很差也没关系，你可以去酒吧，把悲伤都随酒喝下。

　　All right, so you’ve worked two long months at Jo’s and squandered pretty much all your earnings at the track. But you’ve got a little bit left, and I’ll bet you can guess step four. Don’t worry though. You’re okay. Just keep following the steps and we’ll get you out of this.

　　好吧，你已经在Jo’s Café餐厅工作两个月了，把赚来的所有钱都挥霍在赛马场了。但现在还剩点，我打赌你该猜到第四步了，别担心，你没事，就按我的步骤来做，会带你脱离困境的。

　　Step five. Uh oh, things are looking really bad. That bookie was way more serious than you thought, and now you owe the mob thousands of dollars. Plus now you need the money more than ever, to support your rampant gambling and alcohol addictions.

　　第五步。哦，情况看起来真的很糟糕。赌马比你想的更严重，现在你欠黑帮老大几千美元了。再加上你现在比以前更需要钱了，因为你要维持疯狂的赌博和酒瘾。

　　But hold on a second, what’s step six of my program? That’s right, you guys know where this is going. Step six: take out the mob boss. Think about it; they’ll never see it coming and this way you can wind up on top despite all of your fucking bad luck. Everyone will fear you, even respect you. It’s a bold move, but it’s all you’ve got at this point, and if you don’t do something drastic, you’re probably going to die. With the boss gone, you’ll be king of the streets, a big important guy, even… dare I say? A millionaire. Money! You’re rich, baby.

　　再坚持一下，我计划里的第六步是什么呢?对，你们知道该做什么。第六步：邀请黑帮老大出去。你想想，他们从没想到会这样。虽然你运气这么差，但这样你的地位就会扶摇直上。每个人都会怕你，甚至还会尊重你。这是一个大胆举措，但这就是你现在拥有的全部了，如果你不做点极端的事，你可能就得死了。黑帮老大走后，你就是这条街上的头儿了，是大人物了，甚至……我敢说你是百万富翁了。有钱了!你现在有钱了，朋友。

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（编辑：何莹莹）